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Some days I wake up and wonder, “What’s the point?” With the world as crazy as it is, why even get out of bed? Why even try? There’s just going to be some volcano or alien invasion to come wreck your week, so we might as well just hide in our rooms and wait for the apocalypse. But come to think of it, while we’re in there, we might as well jerk off to some premium adult entertainment. Why not meet our doom while shooting our jizz all over the walls first? It makes sense to me.

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